Striving vs Achieving: Finding Balance in a World Obsessed with Success

Kelly Walker • September 11, 2024

The pressure to achieve can sometimes feel overwhelming. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us to hustle harder, push through obstacles and never settle for less. But at what cost? The line between striving for success and burning out is thin, and many of us are teetering dangerously close to the edge. So, how do we know if we’re striving too hard? And more importantly, is our striving healthy, or is it driven by fear and the need to please others?


The Nature of Striving


Striving, in its essence, is a natural part of life. It’s the force that propels us forward, fuels our ambitions and helps us grow. Healthy striving comes from a place of intrinsic motivation—it’s about setting personal goals that align with our values and passions. When we strive in this way, we’re more likely to experience a sense of fulfillment and joy in the journey, regardless of the outcome.


However, striving can quickly become unhealthy when it’s rooted in external validation. If our desire to achieve is driven by a fear of failure, a need to prove ourselves, or the pressure to meet others' expectations, we may find ourselves caught in a cycle of relentless pursuit with little satisfaction. This kind of striving is often accompanied by feelings of anxiety, stress and burnout.


Are You Striving Too Hard?


One of the key indicators that you may be striving too hard is a constant state of exhaustion—both physical and emotional. If you’re pushing yourself to the point where rest feels like a luxury rather than a necessity, it’s time to reevaluate. Another sign is the inability to enjoy your achievements.


When you’re so focused on the next goal that you can’t take a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come, it’s a clear indication that your striving has become more about the pursuit than the pleasure.


Additionally, if your self-worth is tied to your accomplishments, you’re likely striving from an unhealthy place. When we define ourselves by what we achieve rather than who we are, we’re setting ourselves up for a never-ending quest for approval. This can lead to a life driven by fear—fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointing others and fear of failure.


Striving From a Healthy Place


Healthy striving comes from a place of self-awareness and self-compassion. It’s about setting goals that are meaningful to you - not because they’ll impress others, but because they resonate with your inner values and desires. When you strive from a healthy place, you’re able to set boundaries, take breaks and recognise when enough is enough.


Ask yourself: Are your goals aligned with your values? Are you pursuing them because they genuinely matter to you, or because you feel you should? Are you able to find joy in the process, or are you solely focused on the outcome?


Striving from a healthy place also means embracing the concept of good enough. Perfection is an illusion and the pursuit of it can lead to chronic dissatisfaction. By allowing yourself to be human, to make mistakes and to have limits, you create space for growth that’s sustainable and fulfilling.


The Role of People Pleasing


Fear and people-pleasing are two of the most common drivers of unhealthy striving. When we’re motivated by fear—whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or not measuring up—we’re often in a state of fight-or-flight. This constant state of stress can take a toll on our mental and physical health, leading to burnout.


People-pleasing, on the other hand, stems from a deep-seated need for approval. When we base our worth on others’ opinions, we lose sight of our own needs and desires. This can lead to a life that’s more about fulfilling others’ expectations than living authentically.


To strive from a place of strength rather than fear, it’s crucial to cultivate self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your motivations, identify any patterns of people-pleasing and challenge the beliefs that drive your fear. By doing so, you can begin to shift your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment.


Finding Balance


The key to balancing striving and achieving lies in self-compassion and realistic goal-setting. It’s about recognising that while ambition is valuable, it should not come at the expense of your wellbeing. Set goals that are challenging yet attainable, and allow yourself to celebrate small wins along the way.


Remember, it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to say no. And it’s okay to prioritise your mental and emotional health over the constant push for more. By striving from a place of love—love for yourself and your values—you’ll find that achieving becomes a natural byproduct of a life well lived.


Reflection


In a world that glorifies hustle, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless pursuit of success. But true achievement isn’t about how hard you strive. It’s about striving from a place of authenticity, balance and self-compassion. By tuning into your motivations, setting boundaries and embracing the journey as much as the destination, you can transform your striving into a healthy, fulfilling path to personal and professional growth.


At Prospera Consulting, we understand the pressures that come with leadership, particularly when it leads to burnout or unhealthy striving driven by fear and the need for approval. Through our executive and burnout coaching, we help leaders recognise these patterns and move towards a more sustainable, heart-centred approach to achievement.


By using key indicators, we can uncover whether your actions are aligned with external validation or authentic purpose, allowing for meaningful change. Our Leading with Heart program is a transformative first step in cultivating the self-awareness necessary to lead with integrity, balance, and genuine impact.

Creating an Emotional System: How Emotions Shape Behaviour and Drive Performance

By Kelly Walker • December 9, 2025
When we talk about performance in organisations, we often jump straight to strategy, KPIs, frameworks, or capability. But underneath all of that sits something more fundamental - something we rarely name, yet feel every single day. Emotion . Every organisation has an emotional system. Some are intentional and healthy. Most are unspoken, unmanaged and left to chance. The Emotional Culture Deck (ECD) gives leaders a way to make that system visible - and shape it in a way that genuinely improves how people show up, interact and perform. Why Emotional Systems Matter Emotions drive human behaviour. Behaviour drives team culture. Culture drives performance. It’s simple, but profound. Whether we acknowledge it or not, our emotional experiences determine: how we collaborate how we make decisions how we respond to pressure how safe we feel to speak up how we navigate conflict how deeply we trust one another When a team’s emotional system is intentional, supportive and well understood, people are able to work in ways that are healthier, clearer and more productive. When it’s not, the cracks eventually show - disengagement, burnout, conflict, confusion or high turnover. Making the Invisible Visible One of the most powerful aspects of the ECD is that it brings emotional systems out of the shadows . Through simple but thoughtful prompts, leaders and teams identify: the emotions they want to feel more often the emotions that get in the way the behaviours that support or hinder performance the rituals and habits that bring the desired culture to life This turns emotion from something “soft” or abstract into something tangible and strategic - something leaders can actively influence rather than merely react to. From Emotion → Behaviour → Performance When teams articulate the feelings they want to foster - trust, calm, curiosity, confidence - the natural next step is to explore the behaviours that express those emotions in practice. For example: If we want people to feel supported , what behaviours must leaders consistently model? If we want to reduce feelings of overwhelm , what rituals or boundaries need to be put in place? If we want to encourage innovation , what emotional conditions make risk-taking feel safe? This is where performance is born. Not in dashboards or strategy documents - but in the daily micro-behaviours shaped by how people feel. Leaders Set the Emotional Tone Leaders play a central role in any emotional system. Their presence, energy, clarity and behaviour create emotional ripple effects across teams -often referred to as emotional contagion . When leaders are grounded, consistent and emotionally self-aware, teams are more likely to feel safe, engaged and motivated. When leaders are stressed, reactive or disconnected, those emotions spread quickly too. ECD work helps leaders recognise their role as emotional “signal senders” - shaping the emotional climate long before a word is spoken. Why Emotional Systems Improve Performance When teams design an intentional emotional system, they create the conditions for: clearer communication stronger relationships healthier conflict better decision-making more sustainable performance reduced burnout greater trust and psychological safety High performance doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from designing an emotional system that enables people to do their best work without breaking themselves in the process. Final Thought The future of leadership isn’t just strategic - it’s emotional. When we design emotional systems with care, intention and humanity, we shift how people feel, how they behave, and ultimately, how organisations perform. And that’s the real power of the Emotional Culture Deck. It gives us a language - and a toolkit - to lead in a way that feels better and works better. Leadership is about many things - strategy, performance, accountability - but at its heart, it’s about people.

Leadership Awareness: The Hidden Key to Employee Wellbeing

By Kelly Walker • November 17, 2025
We often talk about wellbeing programs, flexible work policies and mental health days - but the single greatest influence on how people feel at work isn’t policy. It’s leadership. According to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2025 report, managers account for 70 per cent of the variance in team engagement . That means how you lead - your tone, your presence and your choices - directly shapes how others experience their hours at work over a lifetime. This article explores the powerful connection between leadership behaviour and employee wellbeing, and offers practical steps to create workplaces where people can truly thrive. Background and Context Modern workplaces are busier, faster, and noisier than ever. Microsoft’s Workplace Index 2025 suggests that: • 40% of employees check email before 6 a.m. • 29% check again around 10 p.m. • On average, people send or receive 117 emails every day. • Workers are interrupted roughly every two minutes - more than 275 times a day. It’s no wonder that nearly half of employees (48%) and over half of leaders (52%) say their work feels chaotic and fragmented . In that context, wellbeing isn’t a 'nice to have' - it’s an organisational necessity. Challenges and Implications The evidence is clear according to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2025 Report: only one-third of employees who are disengaged at work say they are thriving in life overall. But half of employees who are engaged at work report thriving in life. Engagement at work and wellbeing in life are deeply intertwined. Engaged employees are also less likely to report daily negative emotions such as stress and anxiety. So when leaders influence engagement, they’re not just improving performance metrics - they’re improving people’s lives. Why Leadership Awareness Matters We spend a significant portion of our lives at work. The quality of those hours shapes our mental, emotional and physical health. Leadership awareness determines whether those hours feel draining or energising. It determines whether people disconnect each day feeling valued or depleted. When leaders model balance, empathy and boundaries, they create conditions for sustainable performance. When they don’t, burnout spreads faster than any virus. The Human Factor: Emotional Contagion Psychologists call it emotional contagion - the way emotions spread through groups like ripples in a pond. When a leader shows up stressed, anxious, or exhausted, the team senses it. Meetings feel heavier. Collaboration feels harder. Conversely, a calm, energised leader creates psychological safety, trust and optimism. I’ve experienced both sides. During my own burnout, I thought I was hiding it - but my team felt the tension. Later, when I modelled healthy boundaries, they began doing the same. That’s the ripple effect of leadership awareness. So what can we do to ensure our leadership is having a positive influence on workplace wellbeing? Model Healthy Boundaries Leaders set the cultural tone through what they do, not what they say. If you’re replying to emails at midnight, you’re signalling that 'always on' behaviour is expected - even if you insist otherwise. Schedule messages to send in the morning. Leave work on time. Protect weekends. Boundaries aren’t indulgent; they’re instructive. Create Micro-Habits for Balance Small, visible habits make wellbeing real: take lunch away from your desk, go for a short walk between meetings, pause for mindful breathing before starting a call. When leaders practise micro-recovery moments, it legitimises rest for everyone else. Normalise Conversations about Energy Instead of asking only 'How’s the work going?', try 'How’s your energy this week?' or 'What’s feeling heavy right now?'. These questions open the door to genuine check-ins and signal that wellbeing is part of performance - not separate from it. Prioritise with Courage Leadership courage isn’t about saying yes to everything; it’s about protecting focus. Clarify what truly matters each week and make it visible to your team. When you narrow focus, you reduce overload and create psychological space for quality work. Lead with Openness Authentic leadership builds trust. That doesn’t mean oversharing; it means being real. Saying, 'This week’s been tough - I’m taking a short break to reset,' demonstrates strength, not weakness. It gives others permission to be human too. Conclusion Leadership is about many things - strategy, performance, accountability — but at its heart, it’s about people. Employees don’t just hear our words; they feel our presence. When leaders take care of themselves, they send a powerful signal: wellbeing is part of success, not separate from it. So ask yourself — what example am I setting for my team today? Because leadership awareness isn’t just about managing performance — it’s about shaping lives.

Beyond Bricks: Why LEGO® Serious Play® Belongs in Leadership and Team Development

By Kelly Walker • August 17, 2025
In a world where leadership and team development programs often rely on PowerPoint slides and long discussions, it’s easy for sessions to feel like just another meeting. But what if there was a way to unlock deeper thinking, spark real connection, and make ideas visible — all while having fun? Enter LEGO® Serious Play® (LSP) — a research-backed facilitation method that uses LEGO bricks to engage hands, minds, and hearts. It might sound playful (and yes, it is), but it’s far from child’s play. LSP is grounded in neuroscience and the theory of hand knowledge: when we build with our hands, we tap into different parts of the brain, unlocking creativity and insight that often stay hidden in traditional discussions. How Does It Work? Instead of asking participants to talk through a challenge or strategy, LSP invites them to build their thinking using LEGO bricks. Each person constructs a 3D model representing their ideas, experiences, or solutions, then shares the meaning behind what they’ve built. This approach ensures every voice is heard, not just the loudest in the room. The process fosters psychological safety , encourages inclusive participation , and helps teams uncover assumptions that shape behaviour. The models act as shared metaphors — powerful tools for building alignment, creating clarity, and solving complex problems. Why It Works LSP is effective because it blends creativity with structure. It’s based on the principles of constructivism (we learn best by making) and constructionism (making things externalises our thinking). It helps people move beyond habitual ways of seeing challenges, leading to: Deeper engagement — everyone participates, no one hides behind a laptop Inclusive conversations — every perspective matters and is represented Connection and trust — sharing stories through models builds empathy and understanding Breakthrough thinking — visualising problems and possibilities opens up new solutions Where Can It Be Used? LSP can be applied in leadership development, team culture workshops, strategic planning, change management, and even personal purpose work. It’s particularly powerful for: Aligning teams on values, vision, and strategy Building emotional culture maps and team norms Exploring leadership identity and purpose Navigating complex challenges where there’s no clear answer What This Means for Prospera Consulting’s Clients At Prospera Consulting, we’re committed to helping leaders and teams thrive through heart-centred, sustainable ways of working . We use a variety of proven methods — from coaching to creative facilitation — to spark insight, build connection and generate breakthroughs. One of these methods is LEGO® Serious Play®, because it brings those values to life. It’s inclusive, engaging and transformative , helping teams not only find answers but connect on a deeper level. When people feel safe to share, think differently, and co-create solutions, they experience what we believe leadership and teamwork should be about: collaboration, creativity and human connection .